i think about my mother when i sneeze when i touch my hair
when i think about regret
i think about whether she regrets me
i think about how my mother’s life was robbed by war
i think about how sensitive she is and how much it bothers me
i think about when i took her to my elementary school dance and how happy she was
and i think about when she asked me to come again and i said no
i think about how embarassed i was by her accent
how she didnt look or talk like other moms
i think about my mother when i laugh and i wonder if she is laughing too
i think about whether she hates her life
i think about if she thinks about suicide
i think about how i take on my mother’s grief as my own
i think about how helpless i feel
02.03.2024